i was talking to my mama today on the phone, and she asked me what i'm going to do in february when my lease is up... whether i'll be month-to-month here in the townhouse on my lease or whether i'll plan on moving, etc.
i told her i didn't know what i was going to do because our landlord hasn't made up his mind on whether he'll sell the place or not. she mentioned me maybe renewing my ad on equimax and trying to get out of charleston. i told her i didn't want to worry about that right now, and when she tried to push the issue, i told her i didn't want to talk about it.
i've not definitively come out just yet and said, "in march, i will thru-hike the appalachian trail," but our little snippet that we had this afternoon makes me think that she's not going to support my decision to get the hell out of society for a while.
i'm just so tired of the daily grind of living to work. i majored in horses and yes, i have a bachelor's degree, but the thought of getting back into the horse world almost sickens me. i don't want to work with horses for the rest of my life. i would love to just win the lottery and give it all back to society and then just keep enough to keep me on the trail for the rest of my life.
or i'd like to thru-hike the app trail and then use it as a resume-builder and maybe get on board with an outfitter or something. i just regret majoring in horses and i should have never done it. it's not gotten me anywhere in the two or three years that i've been out of school.
anyways. so i guess this was basically to vent because my mama's pushing me towards getting back into my field of study, but i've decided i don't like my field of study, and i'm sick of working right now because i'm working more than 40 hours a week at two jobs that are barely paying my bills.
i'm getting old. i've been a workhorse for almost ten years now. i worked all the way through school, and for the last four years, with maybe two six-month breaks in between, i've held at least two jobs. can i please just say that i'm EFFIN SICK of working? i know everybody in society has to do their parts, and i KNOW i don't have it rough because my parents take care of me when my finances fall short and i need my wisdom teeth taken out or my truck has to be towed because the ignition coil busted in the middle of the road, but i just feel like i need a break. does that make me sound like a spoiled little brat? by no means am i rich, but you don't have to be to be a brat.
blah. i guess i'm just stressing out a little because i'd really prefer to not have to move or get another job or anything come march. i'd rather just hit the trail and hike my little heart out.